Good Morning Ladies,
Today is the One Year Anniversary of my 'Daily Blog', I officially started my actual blog sometime before that but it was on the 1st December 2014 that I made the decision to start writing a daily blog.
It has been the best thing that has happened in my life since marrying Paul and having my children and that is no exaggeration.
I am and had been suffering for many years from a very deep depression and severe anxiety, this has occurred as a result of many years of constant chronic pain and in later years from loneliness.
This is the downside of a forces life I'm afraid, when we moved here about ten years ago I was at my very worst physically and we moved to a place where we knew nobody and to add to that Sophie and Lucy started primary school as we arrived here meaning no 'Mum and Toddler' groups and all of the associated things that help you to integrate slowly to a new place (as we had many times in the past). My mobility was so bad that it was all bit impossible for me to leave the house without help so after everyone had left for the day the loneliness took hold, I deteriorated over a matter of weeks, to the point of seeing no purpose to my life as I felt like I was purely a burden.
I just wanted to lie in bed, pull the covers over my head and wish the day and my life away.
After some time I found Sue's blog, which was a lot smaller then, Sue had also started her blog after moving over here and feeling a little lonely. As Sue's blog grew I started conversing briefly with a few of you and others, I got to the point that I wanted to talk to you further but felt uncomfortable doing so on Sue's blog, so I started blogging myself, just randomly to start with, until this time last year when I decided that I would love to be able to talk to you all every day, so that's when and why I started, slowly one by one more of you came over and then the Cotswold Crafter Cafe was started. I now felt like I had a purpose, the first thing I did in the morning was to reach for the I pad to see if anyone had been in, I then wanted for the first time in years to get up and make a card so that I had something to post the next day.
The only thing that could have topped all of this was the dream of actually meeting all of you, this became a reality at the retreat in October, although most of the weekend I felt like I was in shock, I just couldn't believe it was actually happening, I was also battling major anxiety, this being the first time I had ever been anywhere without Paul, when he left on the friday I felt so sick but at the same time I felt the huge 'buzz' of meeting all of you that came along. There were a few tricky moments that I had to excuse myself for a few moments (nausea is one of my major side effects of anxiety)! But I felt honoured that you had all gone to such a huge effort to come along and make my dream a reality. Those of you that helped make it possible will never know the depth of my gratitude, Hazel, you were amazing! Sue I wouldn't have made it through the weekend without your encouragement and calming nature, Pat too!
So I would like to thank each and everyone of you for giving me a sense of purpose, giving me a reason to live, to get up each day, you make me smile, you all feel like extended family, that's how much you mean.
So please forgive my moments of paranoia, when I think that you will all abandon me through boredom, recently I panicked after the blog comments dropped a lot since the retreat, my mind and anxiety went into overdrive and I thought that after meeting me you no longer wanted to be part of the blog, sadly that's all part of my anxious mind and I guess unless you have experienced it it would be hard to understand. Sadly it is out of my control, I do to the most part keep it out of my blog but there are times my logical mind can't win through! Sorry ladies x
Now today's card has been stamped with Inkyliscious Large Christmas Tree Flourish, stamped with Perfect Medium and embossed with Cosmic Shimmer silver shine, I mounted the tree onto an 8 x 8 inch white card blank, matted with navy card and white shimmer card embossed with (CE) Holly Swirl Embossing Folder, I added white silky crush ribbon across the card and mounted the Christmas tree focal element onto the card using silver photo corners to draw the eye in. I tied a bow with the silky crush ribbon and topped with some silver beaded trim and a snowflake die cut from silver glitter card, I used the same glitter card to die cut the tag from (CE) Snowflake Corner Border Tag set, I mounted the sentiment onto this and placed at the top of the card.
I hope you like the card.
I will raise a glass of something sparkling to you all tonight, thank you all, I look forward to sharing many more anniversaries with you all.
My next dream is to have another retreat to meet all of you that didn't make it to this one, I am open to suggestions as to where and when.
Love and huge hugs to each and everyone of you,